I wonder if my dream of going to Japan is genuine or is just out of discontentment with my life right now. But I hope not. I think not. Today, while waking up so early, not actually waking up because I barely slept (I went to bed at around 3AM and got up at 4:30AM when my alarm rang). I didn’t really slept because I was doing Memrise while I was in bed. So, no sleep at all. Yay! Or Nay!
What struck me the most today is this verse,
To give you a little background, I was just watching this movie (alright, I know that I am not supposed to watch any movie before my certification exam, but I did anyway – don’t curse me yet) and I got so worked up on how the girl seemed to get back the life she once had in Manhattan. It kind of talked about her discontentment that she’s back home to the suburbs. I cried a lot after the movie thinking how ungrateful I am with what I currently have here in Cebu. I wondered if it is alright to move to Japan and do the things I’ve put off for so long with my current state. So, I simply asked what God’s take is on my decision. And, voila! I know it seems a little unrelated. But bear with me. I hope I can explain my thoughts well. It says I have to be faithful first with the little things.
Saying something is little is really subjective. What I consider is little may not be little at all to others. So I hope you don’t mind me associating my life and everything I have right now with “little” compared to the life that I may be having in Japan. After all, I consider it as my biggest dream so far.
After some careful thought, I came up with three things that might help me be grounded with the right attitude while I am still here. I want to think of it as something like preparing myself mentally, physically and emotionally fit in Japan. Here it goes…
Be content with what you have and faithful with what you are given.
And if you are not faithful with other people’s things why should you be trusted with the things of your own? Luke 16:12
I have this attitude of wanting to replace the things inside our rented room and try creative ways of storing or arranging our stuff (though I barely keep our room clean). But, with the lifestyle I am seeing from foreigners in Japan, I don’t think I might be able to survive like this. Japanese have these custom of really respecting rented space and taking care of their surroundings. They are the kind of people who are mindful of others and other people’s stuff (my personal observation from Japanese people I had worked with in the past). And I am not. If I don’t like what I have, I replace it as much as I can. Now don’t get me wrong. I know that there is nothing wrong with having the good stuff and all the upgrades, but with the situation that I am in, geographically and financially, having the good stuff isn’t really easy.
I remember when I was in grade school. My classmate gave me as a Christmas present some goodies from the local store near our school. But I was expecting for something more “special” (ungrateful b*tch you think…). What she received was this cute little bear, so what I did, I gave her back the goodies and traded it with the bear! (really ungrateful!) I was just wanting the good stuff or so I thought. I later realized, when I became a Christian how b*tchy I was for doing that to her. I was so selfish back then. But what’s done was done. I wanted to apologize to her but we never saw each other again after graduation.
So, maybe what I can do right now, and you may want to try as well is be thankful. Yeah that’s just the word that describes this. We should be thankful with what we are given. Be content. It’s not always the case that we have a say on what we are given. So instead, we have to take care of them and make use out of it. (Although some upgrades would also be awesome given the right timing and reason… I definitely will support upgrades).
Be content with your pay and faithfully return what belongs to God.
And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? Luke 16:11
If you are one of my close friends, you know that I don’t like numbers though I am an engineer by profession. I can’t mentally do simple math let alone manage my own finances which I must say needs balancing and budgeting. I hate those things so I always end up not really broke but no savings at all. I asked myself, what assurance do I get that I’d have enough to survive in a place so far away where there would be no Mom who’ll transfer some money whenever I need extra? Not only that, will I be able to keep on returning to God the 10% and even offer some more? Will I be even have a church to call family in there? These things kept swimming in my brain and I don’t have the answers, but what I can do is to actually treasure these things here in Cebu.
I can be thankful again with my pay, no matter how “little” it may seem. Manage to live in proportion to what I am getting and not miss to return to God the tithe and offer some amount as thanksgiving. It sounds simpler than it actually is. But it definitely is worth mastering before moving into the “unknown”. And oh, I almost forgot, I definitely will be saving as well for the big move out day.
Be content with the job you have and faithful in executing each task.
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. Luke 16:10
As the year passed, I became quite too familiar with my job that I start to get bored with it and slack off with the tasks given me. Again, I’m being ungrateful I realized. And Japanese people in general aren’t like that. I’ve worked with Japanese people in the past and I can see how dedicated they are to the company and how they give their best foot forward. There is no room for excuses nor timidity, nor untimeliness. They face what they got to face and deal with any hurdle along the way, may it be themselves or other people. And, if I am not responsible enough with the tasks that I have right now, how will I survive out there?
So, while I am still here, I have to muster my courage and face any discomfort so that I could give my best. I can’t slack off on my last months in the company. Instead, I have to give my best and show them that I am thankful to be part of their journey until my last day.
I figured, there’s only one word to describe everything I’ve been babbling about today. I know you know it too. So let’s be THANKFUL and enjoy our life as it is. Maybe when I get these three things right, then I’ll be able to get a yes from God and move to Japan. Hurray!
These things are actually things that I still am not good at. You see, this page is not here to just give you the best way to do things. Rather, it is a journal of trying things that may lead to achieving dreams and hopes for the future. And if you have the same struggles as I do (in any way), you are always welcome to try these things as well and let’s see where this will lead us.